By way of Dream Theater:

Greatest Hit (…and 21 Other Pretty Cool Songs)

Self-deprecation at its finest isn’t it?

Filed under: Funny, Music Industry

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By way of Blender, I’ve listed some of the highlights below. To read the full article, please click here.

#15 MCA’s teen-pop calamity

How sure was MCA that slinky Irish teen Carly Hennessy was going to be a gargantuan pop star? So sure that in 1999 they staked the former Denny’s sausage spokesmodel with a $100,000 advance, $5,000 a month in living expenses and an apartment in Marina Del Rey, California, spending roughly $2.2 million in all on her 2001 debut, Ultimate High. How wrong were they? In its first three months in stores, Ultimate High sold a whopping 378 copies, putting the label’s investment somewhere in the order of $5,820 per copy sold. Last seen, Hennessy had resurfaced—still looking for her big break—on season seven of American Idol.

#12 Geffen pumps millions into (the nonexistent) Chinese Democracy

Ten years ago, Guns N’ Roses still looked like a good investment—they’d gone platinum 32 times. So in 1998, Geffen Records could be forgiven for paying Axl Rose a million bucks to complete GNR’s fifth album, promising a million more if he delivered it soon. (Rose had already spent four years working on the LP, losing every original bandmate in the process.) Beset by perfectionism, lack of focus and plain-old nuttiness, Rose never got that bonus million. But his label kept spending: In 2001, monthly expenses totaled $244,000. Four producers and a gazillion guitar overdubs later, the album is no closer to release. And Geffen’s in the red for $13 million.

#8 Warner junks Interscope

When anti-rap crusaders wanted to deliver a body blow to hip-hop, they took aim at the Warner Music Group, because its corporate parent, Time Warner, was American-owned and publicly traded. When Ice-T’s “Cop Killer” became too hot to handle, Warner Music dropped him, but the label still enjoyed huge rap hits—particularly through Death Row Records, partially owned by their Interscope label. But when Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole attacked Warner Music in his stump speech, Time Warner panicked, ordering the sale of Interscope to rival Universal. Universal soon became the biggest record company in the world—in large measure due to Interscope hits by Tupac, Dr. Dre and Eminem. Warner Music went on a long slide and was finally sold in 2004.

#2 Decca Records A&R exec tells Fab Four, “No, thanks”

Dick Rowe was not the only record-label executive who passed on the Beatles in the early ’60s, but he was the only one who brushed off their manager, Brian Epstein, with the astute prediction that: “Groups with guitars are on their way out.” Epstein begged Rowe to reconsider, so Rowe hopped a train to Liverpool to check out the band live. When he arrived at the Cavern, he found a mob of kids trying to force their way into the club in the pouring rain. Annoyed, he smoked a cigarette, went home and signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

What’s #1? Check out Blender.com for full details.

Filed under: Funny, Music Industry

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But Sarah Lacy might need it more:

Filed under: Social Media, Funny

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Tip ‘o the hat to Mitch Joel for this video.

Fans of Jimmy Kimmel will get the joke:

Filed under: Video, Funny

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You’ll likely remember the stink that was raised when CBS’ Kid Nation hit the waves. Accusations of child neglect though couldn’t stop it from being one of the most riveting television shows I’ve ever seen. At the end of the day it was a great sociological experiment.

Can 40 kids survive for 40 days without parental supervision and furthermore keep an old deserted desert town afloat? Could they create a functional society? With a bit of guidance from more mature kids and the town council, coupled with prodding from the storyline setup by CBS, I would argue that the experiment was indeed successful.

There was a lot of tension at times. Crying too. Less than a handful of kids ultimately packed up and went home before the shows end but the majority braved the conditions and came out appreciative of the experience. The honesty of these kids ranging from 8 to 16 combined with an appropriate amount of common sense truly made the show feel at par in terms of sophistication than any other reality show that I’ve had the displeasure of viewing.

At the end of the day, it’s not everyone’s idea of an hour well spent. That said, those like myself with a curiosity about human behaviour will very well enjoy the psychology on display.

But the best scene came from the finale, when the crew torched the kids’ job board. There were four teams, each divided by class which dictated their weekly pay and job duties in the town. The rules went out the window. The kids went absolutely nuts and looted the general store, hauling buckets of candy and goods back to their bunks. It was a shining example that left with a pack mentality and to our own devices that sometimes the world can turn itself on its head. After following the rules for 30 something odd days and then falling to temptation was certainly a low point but certainly very insightful. I can certainly only hope that chaos doesn’t reign in on a larger societal scale.

Props CBS.

Filed under: Television, Funny

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Funny “think piece” in NYT’s Circuits section: Pogue’s Imponderables.

There are more than a few funny questions to ponder over including:

* How come cellphone signal-strength bars are so often wrong?

* Laptops, cameras and cellphones have improved by a thousand percent in the last ten years. Why not their batteries?

* Wi-Fi on airplanes. What’s taking so long?

* Would the record companies sell more music online if it weren’t copy-protected?

* Do P.R. people really expect anyone to believe that the standard, stilted, second-paragraph C.E.O. quote was really uttered by a human being?

So true. So true. Read them all here.

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